When it comes to relating to our thoughts and emotions, mindfulness is one of the most effective practices out there. By using mindfulness, we can observe our thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them. Just like weather systems, our thoughts and emotions come and go - sometimes they're stormy and overwhelming, other times they're calm and peaceful.
By practicing mindfulness, we can learn to observe these systems with self-compassion, recognizing that they're simply part of the human experience. We don't necessarily fix or change our emotions or thoughts right away, but we can shift our relationship to them.
How do we do that? A great place to start is the practice of R.A.I.N.
The practice of R.A.I.N, which stands for:
R—Recognize A—Allow I—Investigate N—Nurture and Non-identification
…has become increasingly popular in recent years as a way to integrate both mindfulness and self-compassion in our daily lives. Coined by mindfulness teacher Michelle McDonald and frequently taught by Tara Brach, this four-step process is a powerful tool! It helps us respond more skillfully to challenging emotions while allowing us to experience the ever-changing “weather patterns” in the body and mind with more ease and acceptance. Many people find R.A.I.N helpful when dealing with difficult emotions such as anxiety, depression, or anger. By recognizing and allowing these emotions, instead of pushing them away, we can create more space and freedom in our minds. Investigating them with curiosity and non-judgmental attention can also help us gain insights into our habitual patterns and develop greater self-awareness. Finally, nurturing ourselves with self-compassion can be a powerful antidote to the harsh self-criticism that often accompanies challenging experiences.
If you are new to R.A.I.N or mindfulness practice in general, it can be helpful to seek guidance from a mindfulness teacher who can guide you through the process. By cultivating a mindful practice that incorporates self-compassion, we can learn to relate to ourselves and others with greater kindness, wisdom, and understanding. Start your mindfulness practice with R.A.I.N today to discover the transformative power of self-awareness and self-care. Here’s an example…
Let's say you’re struggling with a challenging emotion such as fear or anger. So, the first step is you simply recognize that fear is present. You can say to yourself, "Oh, this is fear", or just gently repeat "fear, fear, fear" in a calm way to yourself. Remember, "name it to tame it", so just in the recognition and naming what is going on, it loses a little bit of power over you.
The next step is to allow what is arising. Now allowing doesn't mean liking it! It's very normal to not feel like you wholeheartedly allow it, but you simply accept that this is how it is right now and give it some space. You may feel resistance to the allowing, and you can notice the resistance, too. You always start right where you are. You can kindly say to yourself, "This is how it is right now. Fear is present right now."
Once you have recognized and accepted what is going on, you can gently investigate the situation. People can run into trouble here when they start to mentally try and figure it out. This isn't a cognitive process where you analyze and try to get a concrete mental answer. It's more of a kind inquiry into what the embodied sense is, i.e what this feels like in the body. You can gently ask, "What is this?", and just notice where you feel it in the body. See if you can stay with what comes up with a nonjudgmental attention.
The final step is to nurture which is the self-compassion part of the practice. This can be elicited by asking the question, “If the most vulnerable part of this could speak to me, what would it need?”
Nurturing can come in many forms such as through an image of a spiritual or religious figure or something in nature that brings a sense of safety. For some, it may be an image of Jesus, Mother Mary, Buddha, a big mountain, or a tree. It’s a very personal process, and only you know what you might need to feel that sense of comfort and nurturing. It may also come in the form of a gesture of kindness towards yourself such as holding your hands together or holding a hand over your heart. Maybe it will come in the form of reassuring words such as “this belongs” or “this too shall pass”. Nurturing means bringing kindness and a more loving awareness to the situation.
After nurturing, you may notice more space around the emotions and feelings and from here, you can sense into the non-identification. This isn’t detaching from what is arising; rather, it’s a way of realizing that you aren’t the fear or the anger. You realize that you are much larger than any emotion or thought or feeling that you experience. You can rest in that space of awareness and observation of it all.
You can practice R.A.I.N in any challenging moment, and you may notice that what starts as a torrential downpour may turn into a more pleasant and soft Spring rain. You may also notice that underneath the initial emotion lies many other emotions and experiences, and you can simply apply the practice to each of them.
It is a practice, and the more you use it, the more natural it will become for you. So, let it R.A.I.N, and see how, in this allowing, a greater freedom and spaciousness naturally open up and you may bear witness to the clear skies following the storm.
